How to talk to your partner about sex

How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex

Are you afraid about talking to your partner about sex topics? It’s imperative that you muster up the courage to have the discussion. If not, you’re putting yourself at risks of STIs. Here are some tips about how to talk to your partner about sex.

Do you feel awkward, shy or uncomfortable talking about contraception and sex?

Don’t worry, many people do. The key is to speak about it with your partner before you even think about having sex. The best way to begin the conversation is to be upfront and truthful. If it feels uncomfortable, remind yourself why you’re having the conversation: you’re protecting you and your partner from the potential risk of contracting STIs.

Nothing is embarrassing about talking to your partner about practising safe sex, and if they make you feel terrible for talking about it, they may not be the one for you.

Three important sex topics to cover

Take some time and think about what you want to say in advance so that you’re more prepared for the conversation. Make sure you discuss these three critical points:

  1. Which type of contraception you’d both feel most comfortable using, and which will protect both of you from STIs, and unintended pregnancy – condoms (both male and female) are the only contraceptives that will protect you from STIs. Using two types of contraception (e.g. condoms and/or birth control) is always recommended. Birth control can’t prevent the transmission of STIs.
  2. Get tested together for STIs if you have never been tested before. If you got tested a while ago, it’s best to have the test again.

Compromise is vital, but so is staying STI-free

Having unprotected sex ‘just one time’ or ‘now and then’ isn’t safe. Never make this compromise. If your partner isn’t willing to compromise and you feel more comfortable abstaining from sex to protect yourself, do it.

Bottom line: your sexual (and overall) health needs to be priority number one, always.

The easiest way to take control of your (safe) sex life

Whether or not you believe it’s your responsibility, keep condoms readily available.

There are many different types of contraception available; both long-term and short-term. It’s vital that you and your partner discuss which types of contraception suit you best. Remember, practising unsafe sex can put you at risk for contracting STIs.

If you feel that both of you need more information about contraception and STIs, can also pop into your local sexual healthcare centre. Medical professionals will be able to answer any questions or concerns you may have.

Source: Marie Stopes South Africa (Safe Abortion and Post Abortion Family Planning)

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