Signs he is using you: 12 ways to tell he’s only interested in sex
So you’ve been hanging out with this guy for a while, but you have this weird nagging feeling in your gut. Like, why does he freak out if you leave so much as a hair clip at his place? And what’s up with the fact that he’s never introduced you to his friends?
Sorry to say it, but these could be signs he is using you for sex. There’s nothing wrong with being someone’s booty call, unless you’re looking for something serious. Feeling like this is the case? Call us on 0800 11 77 85 to talk about any sexual encounter that’s left you feeling uncomfortable.
Here are 12 more signs it might be time to reassess things if you’re looking for more than just wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.
12 signs you’re just a booty call
1 – He only texts you late at night.
He never wants to hang out during the day, or even the early evening for that matter. The only time you hear from him is after 11 or 12 at night – and it’s always for sex. Not using contraceptives? Book an HIV/STI test immediately by clicking here.
2 – He doesn’t know what colour your couch is.
Does he head directly for the bedroom every time he arrives so you can get straight to the sex? If so, this is just about the booty for him. Make sure you’re protected by using birth control that prevents unwanted pregnancy and protects you against STI’s. Book a contraceptive consultation at your nearest Marie Stopes Center.
3 – Speaking of couches, you’ve never watched TV together.
Or gone out for dinner. Or taken a walk on the beach. Come to think of it, he always seems pretty disinterested whenever you suggested doing something other than having sex… Never let anyone force you to engage in sex if you’re not yet ready or feeling uncomfortable! Call us on 0800 11 77 85 to talk about any sexual encounter that’s left you feeling uncomfortable.
4- Which means you’ve never gone on a real date.
That’s because dates are for guys who think of themselves as boyfriends (or potential boyfriends) – not for booty calls. Don’t fall victim to being used! Talk to a friend or family member if you’re feeling that something isn’t quite right…
5 – He doesn’t ask you about your family, friends or job.
If you’re just a hook-up to him, he’s not going to want to get tangled up in your life. Easy come, easy go means keeping personal info out of it. Has he disclosed his HIV status? Book an HIV test here if he keeps avoiding the subject.
6 – All your conversations turn to sex, or they’re super flirty and sexually charged.
Whether you’re at work or shopping for veggies, he manages to turn every text or conversation into something sexual. If changing the subject doesn’t help, you could be at risk for being used for sex. Unfortunately chances are that you’re not the only one! Make sure you use contraceptives that prevent HIV/STIs and unplanned pregnancy by booking a contraceptive consultation at your nearest Marie Stopes Center.
7 – You don’t have an anniversary
and mentioning the idea of being ‘together’ puts him in a total tailspin. This is one of the clearest signs he is using you. Don’t let him abuse your body by taking advantage of you. Call us anytime to talk about an experience you weren’t 100% okay with!
8 – He makes it almost impossible to sleep over (and never stays over at yours).
He might not literally tell you to leave, but he always implies that he’s got something ‘on’ the next day – a work thing or a family thing – and that he needs a good night’s rest. Alone.
9 – Every time you hang out, he initiates sex.
He doesn’t seem interested in just talking or spending time together. If sex is off the table, he’s out the door – and pretty pissed off about it too.
10 – He invites you to meet him out somewhere with a group.
You get excited thinking you’re about to meet his pals, but when you get there, he’s already waiting outside ready to go and get it on at your place (or his).
Don’t hesitate to get yourself tested if you’ve picked up on 2 or more of these signs! Book an appointment at Marie Stopes here.
11 – He never comments on your good qualities, only your good looks.
He’s clearly turned on by your body, but he’s given you no indication that he thinks your intelligence, humour or talents are appealing to him – or even that he’s noticed them.
12 – He skimps on foreplay.
Men who care about their partners want them to have a great time in the sack. If you’re always the one going down on him or catering to his sexual whims while he just lies there enjoying it, well… you might be getting screwed.
Just to be safe… get yourself checked
If he’s a player or even if you’re both enjoying having fun fooling around, it’s always best to be safe rather than sorry.
So pop into your nearest Marie Stopes centre for quick and painless HIV and STI screenings, or for advice on contraception. After all, if this guy is only looking for a good time, you definitely don’t want him to be your baby daddy! Book an appointment online now.
Source: Marie Stopes South Africa (Safe Abortion and Post Abortion Family Planning)
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